C Wars, Chapter One: The Segfault menace
CodeLongAndPros (1539)

Hello, World! 🖖

To compete with @HahaYes C++ tutorial, I take the side of C, as defined in The C programming language, second edition by Brain Kerninghan and Dennsi Ritchie.

Edit: Chapter two is out


Let the games begin!

Chapter 1, part 1:

Hello World

The only real way to learn a language is to start programming in it.

So, we will do Hello world.


Please make a new C repl, and enter this code into it.

(No Copy-Paste)

#include <stdio.h>

int main() 
    printf("Hello world\n");
    return 0;


If you are in repl, press C-ret, or 'Run'

If you are on a *NIX system use this:

gcc hello.c -Wall -Werror -o main.o && chmod +x main.o && ./main.o

If you are on Windows, download 50G of IDE and C++/Python/NET compilers (VS) and make a new project and hope your computer won't crash.


You should see this appear in your terminal:

$ gcc hello.c -Wall -Werror -o main.o && chmod +x main.o && ./main.o
$ ./main.o
Hello world

Chapter 1, part 2

Meta time

This section is very meta about C, and is not Strictly required.

Every C program has two parts:

  • Functions
  • Variables

Or, to be even more meta:

  • Code
  • Data

Let's dissect hello.c, line for line:

#include <stdio.h>

This may look like elvis elvish, but it is very simple.

The # char indicates a preprocesser directive.

The directive in question Prime include, includes other code in your program.

The prefix std means standard, and io means input/ouput

int main()

This is a function, or a snippet of code.

Every function has the form return_type name(args)

In this one, we have a return type of int, named main that takes no arguments


In C, a curly brace ({/}) seperates blocks of code.
In this case, all you need to know is that all code between { and } is part of main

printf("Hello world");

This is another function, like main.

It is named printf. In non-programmer speak, it means print with formatting. The formatting part is in Chapter two. It takes one -or two- arguments, the string to print, and the format string.

All lines that don't start with a # or are a function end with ;. No exceptions. Ever.

In this case, we are asking it to print Hello world with no formmatting.

return 0;

This is a special statment, return. It returns a piece of Data, like a gift.
For main, the return value is normally used to tell if the program failed, or worked.

  • 0: It worked
  • 1: General error
  • 2+: Random error

And, last but not least:


This tells your computer that your are done with main and want to move on.

Chapter 1, part 3

Your challenge

You need to make a program that prints out three things:

  • Your favorite Browser (Firefox)
  • The operating system you don't like the most (Windows 10)
  • Your favorite type of pet (Dog)

Please give them to me in the comments

Example output:

$ ./a.out
Windows 10

Part One: The Segfault menace

Part Two: The data wars

Part Three: Revenge of the if

Part Four: A new loop

Part Five: The Empire points back

Part Six: Return of the function

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CodeLongAndPros (1539)




What have you got?

Well, there's egg and bacon
Egg sausage and bacon
Egg and C
Egg, bacon and C
Egg, bacon, sausage and C
C, bacon, sausage and C
C, egg, C, C, bacon and C
C, sausage, C, C, C, bacon, C tomato and C
C, C, C, egg and C
C, C, C, C, C, C, baked beans, C, C, C and C

(Choir: C! C! C! C! Lovely C! Lovely C!)

Or Lobster Thermidor aux crevettes with a Mornay sauce
Served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines
Garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and a fried egg on top and C

Have you got anything without C?

Well, the C, eggs, sausage and C
That's not got much C in it

I don't want any C!

Why can't she have eggs, bacon, C and sausage?

That's got C in it!

Hasn't got much C in it as C, eggs, sausage and C has it?

(Choir: C! C! C!...)

Could you do me eggs, bacon, C and sausage without the C, then?


What do you mean 'Iiiiiiiiiich'? I don't like C!

(Choir: Lovely C! Wonderful C!)

Waitress (to choir):
Shut up!

(Choir: Lovely C! Wonderful C!)

Shut Up! Bloody Vikings!
You can't have egg, bacon, C and sausage without the C

I don't like C!

Shush dear, don't have a fuss. I'll have your C. I love it
I'm having C, C, C, C, C, C, C, baked beans
C, C, C, and C!

(Choir: C! C! C! C! Lovely C! Wonderful C!)

Shut Up!! Baked beans are off

Well, could I have her C instead of the baked beans then?

You mean C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C, C
C and C?

Choir (intervening):
C! C! C! C!
Lovely C! Wonderful C!
C c-c-c-c-c-C C c-c-c-c-c-c C
Lovely C! Lovely C! Lovely C! Lovely C!
C C C C!