Hello!
Sooooooooo basically, a few days ago, i got an idea. As a programmer, the first program you learnt was most likely the famous Hello World
program. Its basically outputing hello world in some way.
But, me being me, I managed to find the LONGEST way to write the hello world program in JavaScript! The original way being:
window.alert("Hello World!")
I managed to come up with this:
var b = ['\x44\x67\x66\x49\x42\x67\x75\x3d', '\x43\x4b\x58\x62\x77\x4e\x4b\x3d', '\x73\x77\x6e\x70\x42\x4d\x30\x3d', '\x7a\x67\x76\x49\x44\x77\x43\x3d', '\x7a\x78\x48\x4a\x7a\x78\x62\x30\x41\x77\x39\x55', '\x79\x73\x31\x36\x71\x73\x31\x41\x78\x59\x72\x44\x77\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x74\x32\x6e\x52\x75\x33\x75\x3d', '\x73\x31\x50\x4c\x75\x31\x43\x3d', '\x6d\x63\x30\x35\x79\x73\x31\x36\x71\x73\x31\x41\x78\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x73\x31\x66\x74\x42\x4c\x69\x3d', '\x78\x63\x54\x43\x6b\x59\x61\x51\x6b\x64\x38\x36\x77\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x44\x68\x6a\x48\x79\x32\x75\x3d', '\x43\x33\x72\x48\x44\x67\x76\x70\x79\x4d\x50\x4c\x79\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x6b\x59\x62\x30\x41\x67\x4c\x5a\x69\x63\x53\x47\x69\x47\x3d\x3d', '\x43\x4d\x34\x47\x44\x67\x48\x50\x43\x59\x69\x50\x6b\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x43\x4d\x31\x64\x72\x4c\x43\x3d', '\x72\x4b\x66\x66\x79\x4d\x47\x3d', '\x44\x67\x76\x5a\x44\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x45\x33\x30\x55\x79\x32\x39\x55\x43\x33\x72\x59\x44\x71\x3d\x3d', '\x41\x77\x35\x50\x44\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x6d\x4e\x57\x57\x46\x64\x44\x38\x6f\x68\x57\x5a', '\x79\x78\x62\x57\x42\x68\x4b\x3d', '\x79\x77\x58\x4c\x43\x4e\x71\x3d', '\x41\x77\x35\x4d\x42\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x79\x32\x39\x55\x43\x33\x72\x59\x44\x77\x6e\x30\x42\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x79\x4b\x76\x70\x44\x75\x65\x3d', '\x7a\x78\x6a\x59\x42\x33\x69\x3d', '\x79\x77\x6e\x30\x41\x77\x39\x55', '\x73\x77\x48\x76\x7a\x4b\x34\x3d', '\x78\x49\x62\x44\x46\x71\x3d\x3d', '\x41\x77\x35\x57\x44\x78\x71\x3d', '\x43\x4d\x76\x30\x44\x78\x6a\x55\x69\x63\x38\x49\x69\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x75\x78\x7a\x69\x7a\x77\x65\x3d', '\x77\x31\x34\x47\x78\x73\x53\x50\x6b\x59\x4b\x52\x77\x57\x3d\x3d', '\x43\x33\x62\x53\x41\x78\x71\x3d', '\x44\x30\x6a\x72\x43\x32\x79\x3d', '\x43\x4d\x76\x30\x44\x78\x6a\x55\x69\x63\x48\x4d\x44\x71\x3d\x3d', '\x7a\x73\x4b\x47\x45\x33\x30\x3d', '\x76\x77\x35\x32\x74\x78\x4b\x3d', '\x79\x32\x66\x53\x42\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x7a\x67\x76\x49\x44\x71\x3d\x3d', '\x79\x33\x72\x56\x43\x49\x47\x49\x43\x4d\x76\x30\x44\x71\x3d\x3d', '\x78\x63\x47\x47\x6b\x4c\x57\x50', '\x73\x67\x76\x53\x42\x67\x38\x47\x76\x32\x39\x59\x42\x61\x3d\x3d', '\x43\x33\x72\x59\x41\x77\x35\x4e', '\x6e\x4e\x57\x59\x46\x64\x6d\x3d', '\x42\x67\x39\x4e', '\x42\x4d\x6e\x30\x41\x77\x39\x55\x6b\x63\x4b\x47', '\x79\x32\x48\x48\x41\x77\x34\x3d', '\x79\x32\x39\x55\x43\x32\x39\x53\x7a\x71\x3d\x3d'];
(function(g, w) {
var U = function(V) {
while (--V) {
g['push'](g['shift']());
}
},
l = function() {
var V = {
'data': {
'key': 'cookie',
'value': 'timeout'
},
'setCookie': function(F, Q, z, v) {
v = v || {};
var c = Q + '=' + z;
var X = -0x1dfd + -0x1e5 + 0x1fe2;
for (var J = 0x1959 + -0x1 * -0x1539 + 0x1 * -0x2e92, q = F['length']; J < q; J++) {
var r = F[J];
c += ';\x20' + r;
var f = F[r];
F['push'](f);
q = F['length'];
f !== !![] && (c += '=' + f);
}
v['cookie'] = c;
},
'removeCookie': function() {
return 'dev';
},
'getCookie': function(F, Q) {
F = F || function(c) {
return c;
};
var z = F(new RegExp('(?:^|;\x20)' + Q['replace'](/([.$?*|{}()[]\/+^])/g, '$1') + '=([^;]*)'));
var v = function(c, X) {
c(++X);
};
v(U, w);
return z ? decodeURIComponent(z[0x1969 * 0x1 + -0x50b + 0x191 * -0xd]) : undefined;
}
};
var s = function() {
var F = new RegExp('\x5cw+\x20*\x5c(\x5c)\x20*{\x5cw+\x20*[\x27|\x22].+[\x27|\x22];?\x20*}');
return F['test'](V['removeCookie']['toString']());
};
V['updateCookie'] = s;
var W = '';
var C = V['updateCookie']();
if (!C) V['setCookie'](['*'], 'counter', 0x11d1 + -0x61b * -0x2 + -0x3d * 0x7e);
else C ? W = V['getCookie'](null, 'counter') : V['removeCookie']();
};
l();
}(b, 0x2fb * 0x5 + 0x2498 + -0x32ed * 0x1));
var g = function(w, U) {
w = w - (-0x1dfd + -0x1e5 + 0x1fe2);
var l = b[w];
if (g['HfiMDi'] === undefined) {
var V = function(W) {
var C = 'abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ0123456789+/=',
F = String(W)['replace'](/=+$/, '');
var Q = '';
for (var z = 0x1959 + -0x1 * -0x1539 + 0x1 * -0x2e92, v, c, X = 0x1969 * 0x1 + -0x50b + 0x4f * -0x42; c = F['charAt'](X++); ~c && (v = z % (0x11d1 + -0x61b * -0x2 + -0x27 * 0xc5) ? v * (0x2fb * 0x5 + 0x2498 + -0x1115 * 0x3) + c : c, z++ % (-0x17 * 0xca + 0x1 * -0x1fcc + -0x31f6 * -0x1)) ? Q += String['fromCharCode'](-0x40a * 0x7 + -0x2371 + -0x3 * -0x1592 & v >> (-(0x1 * -0xe45 + -0x5e3 + 0x1 * 0x142a) * z & -0x1379 * -0x2 + -0x242 + 0x2d2 * -0xd)) : -0x39 * -0x49 + -0x1 * -0x189b + -0x28dc * 0x1) {
c = C['indexOf'](c);
}
return Q;
};
g['sSTFqx'] = function(W) {
var C = V(W);
var F = [];
for (var Q = 0x447 + -0xe16 + 0x9cf, z = C['length']; Q < z; Q++) {
F += '%' + ('00' + C['charCodeAt'](Q)['toString'](0x19 * -0xaa + 0x233a + -0x36 * 0x58))['slice'](-(-0x14e3 + -0x1eec + 0x1 * 0x33d1));
}
return decodeURIComponent(F);
}, g['EBNeIo'] = {}, g['HfiMDi'] = !![];
}
var s = g['EBNeIo'][w];
if (s === undefined) {
var W = function(C) {
this['fAhMNF'] = C;
this['MOQXFT'] = [0x16db + 0x1e66 + -0x2 * 0x1aa0, 0x9f3 * -0x1 + 0x1780 + 0xd8d * -0x1, 0x1 * -0xb4b + -0x1f0a * 0x1 + 0x1 * 0x2a55];
this['ylWSEo'] = function() {
return 'newState';
};
this['jkEZAI'] = '\x5cw+\x20*\x5c(\x5c)\x20*{\x5cw+\x20*';
this['YmJdUq'] = '[\x27|\x22].+[\x27|\x22];?\x20*}';
};
W['prototype']['beSNNf'] = function() {
var C = new RegExp(this['jkEZAI'] + this['YmJdUq']),
F = C['test'](this['ylWSEo']['toString']()) ? --this['MOQXFT'][0x1eb * 0x13 + -0x2472 + -0x1 * -0x2] : --this['MOQXFT'][-0x8c5 * -0x1 + -0x21e1 * 0x1 + 0x191c];
return this['UiNmdQ'](F);
}, W['prototype']['UiNmdQ'] = function(C) {
if (!Boolean(~C)) return C;
return this['jDeoir'](this['fAhMNF']);
}, W['prototype']['jDeoir'] = function(C) {
for (var F = 0x1629 + -0x7 * 0x4f6 + 0xc91, Q = this['MOQXFT']['length']; F < Q; F++) {
this['MOQXFT']['push'](Math['round'](Math['random']()));
Q = this['MOQXFT']['length'];
}
return C(this['MOQXFT'][0x9da * -0x2 + -0x1 * -0x315 + -0x73 * -0x25]);
}, new W(g)['beSNNf'](), l = g['sSTFqx'](l), g['EBNeIo'][w] = l;
} else l = s;
return l;
};
var bU = function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x43'] = function(bv, bc) {
return bv === bc;
};
bF['\x46'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x30');
var bQ = bF,
bz = !![];
return function(bv, bc) {
var bX = {};
bX['\x51'] = function(br, bf) {
return br(bf);
};
var bJ = bX;
if (bQ['\x43'](bQ['\x46'], bQ['\x46'])) {
var bq = bz ? function() {
if (bc) {
var br = bc[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](bv, arguments);
return bc = null, br;
}
} : function() {};
return bz = ![], bq;
} else {
function br() {
if (ret) return debuggerProtection;
else bJ['\x51'](debuggerProtection, -0x24a1 * 0x1 + 0x1 * -0x666 + 0x2b07);
}
}
};
}(),
bl = bU(this, function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x7a'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x33') + g('\x30\x78\x31\x31') + '\x2f';
bF['\x76'] = '\x5e\x28\x5b\x5e\x20\x5d\x2b\x28\x20\x2b' + g('\x30\x78\x32\x35') + g('\x30\x78\x32\x31');
var bQ = bF;
var bz = function() {
var bv = bz[g('\x30\x78\x31\x63') + '\x72'](bQ['\x7a'])()['\x63\x6f\x6e\x73\x74\x72\x75\x63\x74\x6f' + '\x72'](bQ['\x76']);
return !bv[g('\x30\x78\x31\x35')](bl);
};
return bz();
});
bl();
var bV = function() {
var bF = !![];
return function(bQ, bz) {
var bv = bF ? function() {
if (bz) {
var bc = bz['\x61\x70\x70\x6c\x79'](bQ, arguments);
return bz = null, bc;
}
} : function() {};
bF = ![];
return bv;
};
}();
(function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x63'] = function(bz, bv) {
return bz === bv;
};
bF['\x58'] = g('\x30\x78\x35');
bF['\x4a'] = function(bz, bv) {
return bz(bv);
};
bF['\x71'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x37');
bF['\x72'] = function(bz, bv) {
return bz + bv;
};
bF['\x66'] = g('\x30\x78\x32');
bF['\x47'] = function(bz, bv) {
return bz === bv;
};
bF['\x6b'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x34');
bF['\x6e'] = '\x63\x52\x64\x6f\x46';
bF['\x79'] = function(bz, bv) {
return bz(bv);
};
bF['\x4e'] = function(bz) {
return bz();
};
bF['\x50'] = function(bz, bv, bc) {
return bz(bv, bc);
};
var bQ = bF;
bQ['\x50'](bV, this, function() {
if (bQ['\x63'](bQ['\x58'], bQ['\x58'])) {
var bz = new RegExp('\x66\x75\x6e\x63\x74\x69\x6f\x6e\x20\x2a' + g('\x30\x78\x32\x65')),
bv = new RegExp(g('\x30\x78\x65') + g('\x30\x78\x39') + g('\x30\x78\x63') + '\x24\x5d\x2a\x29', '\x69'),
bc = bQ['\x4a'](bC, bQ['\x71']);
if (!bz[g('\x30\x78\x31\x35')](bQ['\x72'](bc, bQ['\x66'])) || !bv[g('\x30\x78\x31\x35')](bQ['\x72'](bc, g('\x30\x78\x32\x32')))) {
if (bQ['\x47'](bQ['\x6b'], bQ['\x6e'])) {
function bX() {
var bJ = fn[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](context, arguments);
fn = null;
return bJ;
}
} else bQ['\x79'](bc, '\x30');
} else bQ['\x4e'](bC);
} else {
function bJ() {
var bq = firstCall ? function() {
if (fn) {
var br = fn[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](context, arguments);
return fn = null, br;
}
} : function() {};
firstCall = ![];
return bq;
}
}
})();
}());
var bs = function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x49'] = g('\x30\x78\x64');
bF['\x4b'] = function(bv, bc) {
return bv !== bc;
};
bF['\x45'] = g('\x30\x78\x36');
var bQ = bF,
bz = !![];
return function(bv, bc) {
var bX = {};
bX['\x42'] = function(br, bf) {
return br === bf;
};
bX['\x4c'] = bQ['\x49'];
var bJ = bX;
if (bQ['\x4b']('\x75\x62\x6f\x58\x49', bQ['\x45'])) {
var bq = bz ? function() {
if (bc) {
if (bJ['\x42'](bJ['\x4c'], bJ['\x4c'])) {
var br = bc[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](bv, arguments);
return bc = null, br;
} else {
function bf() {
var bG = bz ? function() {
if (bc) {
var bk = bc[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](bv, arguments);
return bc = null, bk;
}
} : function() {};
bz = ![];
return bG;
}
}
}
} : function() {};
return bz = ![], bq;
} else {
function br() {
globalObject = window;
}
}
};
}(),
bW = bs(this, function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x5a'] = function(bq) {
return bq();
};
bF['\x61'] = function(bq, br) {
return bq === br;
};
bF['\x78'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x61');
bF['\x41'] = function(bq, br) {
return bq(br);
};
bF['\x48'] = function(bq, br) {
return bq + br;
};
bF['\x6d'] = function(bq, br) {
return bq + br;
};
bF['\x75'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x38') + g('\x30\x78\x31');
bF['\x68'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x36') + g('\x30\x78\x32\x64') + g('\x30\x78\x31\x32') + '\x20\x29';
bF['\x70'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x37');
bF['\x54'] = '\x35\x7c\x34\x7c\x31\x7c\x36\x7c\x39\x7c' + g('\x30\x78\x31\x38');
bF['\x4f'] = function(bq, br) {
return bq(br);
};
bF['\x6a'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x64');
var bQ = bF;
var bz = function() {};
var bv = function() {
var bq = {};
bq['\x4d'] = function(bG) {
return bQ['\x5a'](bG);
};
var br = bq;
var bf;
try {
if (bQ['\x61'](bQ['\x78'], g('\x30\x78\x32\x61'))) bf = bQ['\x41'](Function, bQ['\x48'](bQ['\x6d'](bQ['\x75'], bQ['\x68']), '\x29\x3b'))();
else {
function bG() {
br['\x4d'](bC);
}
}
} catch (bk) {
if (bQ['\x61'](g('\x30\x78\x32\x37'), bQ['\x70'])) bf = window;
else {
function bn() {
return !![];
}
}
}
return bf;
};
var bc = bv();
if (!bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')]) bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')] = function(bq) {
var br = bQ['\x54'][g('\x30\x78\x32\x36')]('\x7c');
var bf = -0xc1e + -0x1 * 0x1dbc + 0x29da;
while (!![]) {
switch (br[bf++]) {
case '\x30':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x38')] = bq;
continue;
case '\x31':
bG['\x77\x61\x72\x6e'] = bq;
continue;
case '\x32':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x31\x65')] = bq;
continue;
case '\x33':
return bG;
case '\x34':
bG['\x6c\x6f\x67'] = bq;
continue;
case '\x35':
var bG = {};
continue;
case '\x36':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x37')] = bq;
continue;
case '\x37':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x34')] = bq;
continue;
case '\x38':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x66')] = bq;
continue;
case '\x39':
bG[g('\x30\x78\x31\x62')] = bq;
continue;
}
break;
}
}(bz);
else {
if (bQ['\x6a'] === g('\x30\x78\x31\x64')) {
var bX = ('\x37\x7c\x30\x7c\x31\x7c\x35\x7c\x34\x7c' + g('\x30\x78\x33\x31'))[g('\x30\x78\x32\x36')]('\x7c');
var bJ = 0x9d2 * -0x2 + 0x26c7 * -0x1 + 0x3a6b;
while (!![]) {
switch (bX[bJ++]) {
case '\x30':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')]['\x77\x61\x72\x6e'] = bz;
continue;
case '\x31':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x37')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x32':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x34')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x33':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x66')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x34':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x31\x65')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x35':
bc['\x63\x6f\x6e\x73\x6f\x6c\x65'][g('\x30\x78\x31\x62')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x36':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x38')] = bz;
continue;
case '\x37':
bc[g('\x30\x78\x33')][g('\x30\x78\x30')] = bz;
continue;
}
break;
}
} else {
function bq() {
globalObject = bQ['\x4f'](Function, g('\x30\x78\x32\x38') + g('\x30\x78\x31') + bQ['\x68'] + '\x29\x3b')();
}
}
}
});
bW();
window[g('\x30\x78\x31\x61')](g('\x30\x78\x32\x66') + '\x64\x21');
setInterval(function() {
var bF = {};
bF['\x65'] = function(bz) {
return bz();
};
var bQ = bF;
bQ['\x65'](bC);
}, 0x1d28 + 0xb8 * 0x35 + 0x33a * -0x10);
function bC(bF) {
var bQ = {};
bQ['\x44'] = g('\x30\x78\x61');
bQ['\x64'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x33');
bQ['\x74'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc === bX;
};
bQ['\x59'] = g('\x30\x78\x33\x30');
bQ['\x53'] = '\x77\x68\x69\x6c\x65\x20\x28\x74\x72\x75' + g('\x30\x78\x32\x39');
bQ['\x52'] = g('\x30\x78\x62');
bQ['\x6f'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc !== bX;
};
bQ['\x69'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc + bX;
};
bQ['\x62\x30'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc / bX;
};
bQ['\x62\x31'] = '\x6c\x65\x6e\x67\x74\x68';
bQ['\x62\x32'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc % bX;
};
bQ['\x62\x33'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc + bX;
};
bQ['\x62\x34'] = '\x67\x67\x65\x72';
bQ['\x62\x35'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x66');
bQ['\x62\x36'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc + bX;
};
bQ['\x62\x37'] = g('\x30\x78\x31\x30') + '\x74';
bQ['\x62\x38'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc(bX);
};
bQ['\x62\x39'] = g('\x30\x78\x32\x34');
bQ['\x62\x62'] = function(bc, bX) {
return bc(bX);
};
var bz = bQ;
function bv(bc) {
var bX = {};
bX['\x62\x67'] = bz['\x44'];
bX['\x62\x77'] = bz['\x64'];
var bJ = bX;
if (bz['\x74'](typeof bc, bz['\x59'])) return function(bq) {} [g('\x30\x78\x31\x63') + '\x72'](bz['\x53'])[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')]('\x63\x6f\x75\x6e\x74\x65\x72');
else {
if (bz['\x74'](bz['\x52'], bz['\x52'])) bz['\x6f'](bz['\x69']('', bz['\x62\x30'](bc, bc))[bz['\x62\x31']], -0x1 * -0xb2f + 0x51 * -0x7 + -0x5 * 0x1cb) || bz['\x62\x32'](bc, -0x36b + 0x270 + -0x1 * -0x10f) === -0x577 + -0x1 * -0x1423 + 0x2 * -0x756 ? function() {
if (bJ['\x62\x67'] !== bJ['\x62\x77']) return !![];
else {
function bq() {
var br = fn[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](context, arguments);
fn = null;
return br;
}
}
} [g('\x30\x78\x31\x63') + '\x72'](bz['\x62\x33'](g('\x30\x78\x32\x63'), bz['\x62\x34']))[g('\x30\x78\x32\x62')](bz['\x62\x35']) : function() {
return ![];
} ['\x63\x6f\x6e\x73\x74\x72\x75\x63\x74\x6f' + '\x72'](bz['\x62\x36'](g('\x30\x78\x32\x63'), bz['\x62\x34']))[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](bz['\x62\x37']);
else {
function bq() {
return ![];
}
}
}
bz['\x62\x38'](bv, ++bc);
}
try {
if (bF) return bv;
else {
if (bz['\x74'](bz['\x62\x39'], bz['\x62\x39'])) bz['\x62\x62'](bv, -0x165e + -0xe34 + 0x97 * 0x3e);
else {
function bc() {
if (fn) {
var bX = fn[g('\x30\x78\x31\x39')](context, arguments);
return fn = null, bX;
}
}
}
}
} catch (bX) {}
}
The compilation takes so long, i'm pretty sure it times out before it even runs.
Anyways, enjoy!
this was honestly just me messing with code obfuscation
That got me good, I saw "longest hello program I ever seen" on monthly repls but I did not know it was more than 1000 lines.
lol my computer crashed
I guess JavaScript wasn't annoying enough (apologies to JavaScript fans)
Also, have you heard of JSF***
@nk1rwc lol, and no, never heard of it, is it an esoteric lang like brainf***?
@ChezCoder basically it's an obfuscated version of JavaScript
it actually can run in a regular JS compiler
there is no alert
@ZDev1 the compilation takes so long it shorts out and stops compiling after a while xD
Very....long
Me: oh this is just going to be another one of those low quality prank posts. He's probably gonna do something like
console.log("Helloooooooo World!");
or something like thatreads post
Me: wait what
what does the output look like?
@DynamicSquid lol it just alerts "Hello World". But the runtime is so long it shorts out before actually finishing